OSCAR!

Say, did you hear the Oscars TOTALLY shut out the greatest movie in the history of movies? I mean, better than STAR WARS (talking about the original bro, not the CGI shit from '97, and not the print remasters from '95; talkin' strictly '77)! Did you hear about that? I mean, can you believe that THE DARK KNIGHT, a movie that elevated the entire subgenre of "comic-book movie" well past the juvenile Summertime bombast associated with most films from said category got the Heisman straight to its grill? Can you fathom this? How can this be possible? I mean, DK kicked so much ass, man! This is a travesty. I'm boycotting the Oscars this year. What a joke.

Actually, the Oscars are a joke just about every year and have been ever since WINGS won way back when (Sigh, I remember that night - what a great handjob I got from Mary Pickford in the rumble seat). It's the biggest company party in the world, and we're all invited to watch. They seldom, if ever, get it right as far as awarding films that truly break any ground, or represent any major achievements in filmmaking. It's a political game of chess, much like a campaign for public office, that shouldn't rankle any true lover of film. A true lover of film shouldn't give two shits about the Oscars because they know that it's merely a game between high stakes power brokers trying to boost the company stock. To get upset over your favorite film, actor, or costume designer being slighted is completely ridiculous. It's a goddamn dog and pony show. The bellyaching I've read across message boards on the internet (in particular, on David Poland's The Hot Blog - anyone familiar with that site will know the poster I'm talking about) about THE DARK KNIGHT being passed over for a Best Picture nod veers into psychotic, emotionally regressive behavior that makes the offending parties look like basement dwelling mental midgets.

So, what would I choose as best picture this year... Hmm, lemme see, well, I didn't see any of the nominees. For the first time in my life I didn't catch a glimpse of any of the horses at the promenade before they reached the gates. In fact, save for Gus Van Sant's MILK, and Danny Boyle channeling the Bollywood electric in SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, the rest kind of fall flat for me as far as interest. I did go to the movies this year, but the ones that stuck with me were either too low-profile, or too mindless for The Academy. I'm one of the unwashed masses that prefers IRON MAN to DARK KNIGHT, and actually liked the mercilessly beat-down HANCOCK as far as Summer fare. My favorites were smaller character pieces; in no certain order, LET THE RIGHT ON IN, THE WRESTLER (yes, Rourke got a Best Actor nom...), FROZEN RIVER (yes, it got Best Actress, and Best Original Screenplay noms...), and REDBELT. I'm not trying to be pretentious and damn gazillion-dollar budgeted movies, they obviously have their place. I like a good action movie, and it doesn't have to be very smart for me to enjoy it. However, when it comes time to pick the "best of the year", it has to be something challenging. I know we're living in a transitional period right now, where hope and uncertainty are melding in some sort of gray ether, and that gritty, challenging, modestly budgeted true-life dramas are a "hard sell", but they are necessary. People need to grow some balls and face their fears if they want to get anywhere in life...

I mean, wouldn't you rather watch a film about a character that's fallen on hard times as opposed to socially blasphemous bullshit like CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC? Sure it's escapism, but isn't that attitude what got us into this mess in the first place? Also, FUCK THAT MOVIE. I hope the prints evaporate into demonsmoke as they unspool. I've been passing a couple of bus stops adorned by that goddamn poster with Isla Fisher* holding two shopping bags and a goddamn "What..? What did I do?" expression on her face, usually juxtaposed with the reality of your average bus stop - someone either waiting to catch the bus to their shitty job that doesn't pay enough to allow them to purchase a car, or someone just sleeping off their sad life. Terrible move. Terrible marketing. Shame on everyone involved. Fuck. That. Movie. And fuck you if you see it.

I'll watch the Oscars, hell, maybe I'll make a Cinemawreck press pass and try to crash the red carpet (probably not, they tend to hire security that knows how to kill bare-handed). Regardless of whether your team is in the hunt you should just enjoy the spectacle of people who are prettier, richer, and who will die someday just like you and I, getting their moment in the spotlight. Quit elevating the event because the Oscar stamp of approval means jack shit as far as quality. Deal with it.



*Don't get me wrong, Isla Fisher is mega talented. She was the best thing about WEDDING CRASHERS, and she was great in a killer movie nobody saw, THE LOOKOUT. Plus, she's a smoking hot redhead. I don't hate the player, I just hate the game.

Revok updates

More of a freebie commercial for Revok, but it's worth noting.

They've lowered their prices and they are adding a new title every week. I'm actually trying to decide what to order as I type this. A few new titles they added worth mentioning:

Commando Leopard



Exterminators of the Year 3000 [I fucking LOVE Italian post-apocalyptic stuff]



Lightblast [2 words: Erik Estrada]



So, go ... check out Revok's new site and get some DVD's! It's a lot better than the shit that's probably in your Netflix queue anyway.

Chocolate on DVD

Comes out on DVD in the US on Feb. 10th.

Full review to follow.



Follows the story of a young autistic Thai girl with a gift for martial arts. I can't get enough of these balls-out Thai action films. More, MORE!

Here's some of a Thai TV special on the actress and making the film.



Sidenote: I noticed there is a ton of new additions to Cosmic Hex [link over to your right] that demand my [and your] viewing. Go. Absorb. Appreciate.