Holy crip!

Just counting down the days to theatrical release of The Bike King and the Ten Commandments. It promises to have...snakes and....and a kid in a wheelchair with glasses. There also appears to be some sort of Hawaiian deku tree with an internal CD burner. Fucking awesome.

City of Rott

Need to waste some time? I just found this little gem. While crudely animated [looks like Assy McGee....but worse], it looks to be extremely ambitious. Now, I haven't watched all of it yet but I thought I'd post it anyways. So, I'm not promising anything great here. I stumbled upon this while doing a search for someplace selling the German PAL version of Braindead. Somehow this came up. Follow the links to see the whole thing. Here's part one:



Sidenote: I also ordered the Malaysian DVD release of Ong Bak 2 [mother fuck yeah!], with English subs. Expect a write-up on that very soon.

Hokuto No Ken!

Hokuto No Ken. Roughly translated, "The Book of the Dead"....oh wait, sorry. I mean The Fist of the North Star. Back in the early 90's this was 1 of maybe 3 anime on store/video store shelves. I remember going to Suncoast Motion Picture Company at the mall in high school and seeing less than 10 tapes for sale. It was usually Akira, Lensman and Fist of the North Star [FOTNS]. I have to say, the first time I saw FOTNS it blew my fucking mind. No pun intended. If you aren't familiar with it, it is an anime film based on the VERY popular Japanese Manga and television series of the same name. It follows Kenshiro the successor to a lethal fighting technique passed down for generations called Hokuto Shin Ken. Think of it as Greek Mythology meets Mad Max.

Here's a trailer:



The film blew me away with completely insane hyper-violence. Ken's special move was hitting a particular pressure point on his opponent that usually resulted in a delayed reaction of their HEAD EXPLODING. The original 1986 film is completely balls-out ultra-violent and awesome.

Recently, to celebrate FOTNS's anniversary in Japan a 3 part OVA was produced called "New Fist of the North Star" as well as 5 other OVA's released in both the theater and on DVD in Japan. The 5 new films are side stories dedicated to a handful of characters in the FOTNS universe. There is also a 13 episode Raoh themed series that is also on DVD now [Ten No Haoh]. The films can be found pretty easily on ebay. [if you don't mind a questionable Chinese produced version] Or, if you would like to waste as much time as humanly possible at work I will add youtube links to all of them at the end of this post.

Anyway, I just finished watching all the new films as well as the Ten No Haoh series [which was AWESOME] and I can't recommend them enough if you were a fan of FOTNS. I never understood how this series wasn't more popular in the states. I doubt you will ever see these films officially released here. So...go watch 'em on youtube.

Legend of Raoh: Chapter of Death in Love (ラオウ伝 殉愛の章 ,Raō Den Jun'ai no Shō)

Legend of Yuria (ユリア伝 ,Yuria Den)

Legend of Raoh: Chapter of Fierce Fight (ラオウ伝 激闘の章 ,Raō Den Gekitō no Shō)

Legend of Toki (トキ伝 ,Toki Den)

Legend of Kenshiro (北斗の拳 ZERO ケンシロウ伝 ,Hokuto no Ken Zero - Kenshirō Den)

God bless the fansubber nerds out there.

God bless you, Andy Sidaris

Here's a clip from Hard Ticket To Hawaii.

I'm thinking I need to go back and revisit some Sidaris films with plenty of alcohol in my system.



Also, unrelated to this sad excuse for a post, is a link to some awesome bread.

Drag Me To Hell

I just got done watching the first trailer for Sam Raimi's apparent return to form, Drag Me To Hell. It's way too soon to tell, as Sam Raimi has been hit-or-miss [mostly miss] for me since Army of Darkness. I realize he needs to pay the bills and all, but I felt the Spiderman films were AWFUL, except for the hospital scene in S2. I never saw his fucking baseball movie and while I liked A Simple Plan, if his name hadn't been in the credits, you'd never know he had anything to do with it.

I realize my love for Raimi comes from a place long gone. It comes from a time when Evil Dead was actually a cult film and not a t-shirt at Hot Topic. I'm not bitter [lies], I just felt really comfortable in that space. A place where Evil Dead 2 was hidden among all the other horror flicks in the corner. I liked the "Action Pack" endeavors of Raimi and Tapert back in the 90's that spawned Hercules, Xena and the awesome [in my opinion] Cleopatra 2525 as well. They had a good gig going before things got all super-mega digestible for the masses. I give him props though, he at least still produces genre stuff, even though it also happens to be the raping of Asian horror. [Asian horror had it comin' though, shouldn't have dressed so slutty] And Spiderman [while boring as hell] isn't another baseball flick. So, he hasn't lost touch with his roots entirely, it would seem.

So, back to the trailer for Drag Me To Hell. It looks pretty cool. If it's rated 'R' I will be even more encouraged. At least in terms of classic Raimi style, it looks like this has it. While on the one hand I fear he is never going to make another movie I really like a'la John Carpenter, I did find myself somewhat giddy at the sight of this lineup on the credits screen of the trailer.
I guess we'll find out in May.

Watchmen early screening report...

Buddy of mine [Dr. Poopenhauffen] went to a press screening last night. I asked him, "On a scale of 1-10, how much slo-mo was there?". His answer? "12. The first 4 minutes were slo-mo." He was, of course, joking some. But it does confirm some of the fears, we at the Wreck had.

Very anxious to see this. Expect lots of words about to follow once JB and myself get to see it.

In other news I FINALLY went and saw Gran Torino, which was pretty great. Hopefully, get off my ass and write a proper review. PROPER. Eastwood is a badass. Even after he's long gone, his skeleton will still be an absolute badass.

OSCAR!

Say, did you hear the Oscars TOTALLY shut out the greatest movie in the history of movies? I mean, better than STAR WARS (talking about the original bro, not the CGI shit from '97, and not the print remasters from '95; talkin' strictly '77)! Did you hear about that? I mean, can you believe that THE DARK KNIGHT, a movie that elevated the entire subgenre of "comic-book movie" well past the juvenile Summertime bombast associated with most films from said category got the Heisman straight to its grill? Can you fathom this? How can this be possible? I mean, DK kicked so much ass, man! This is a travesty. I'm boycotting the Oscars this year. What a joke.

Actually, the Oscars are a joke just about every year and have been ever since WINGS won way back when (Sigh, I remember that night - what a great handjob I got from Mary Pickford in the rumble seat). It's the biggest company party in the world, and we're all invited to watch. They seldom, if ever, get it right as far as awarding films that truly break any ground, or represent any major achievements in filmmaking. It's a political game of chess, much like a campaign for public office, that shouldn't rankle any true lover of film. A true lover of film shouldn't give two shits about the Oscars because they know that it's merely a game between high stakes power brokers trying to boost the company stock. To get upset over your favorite film, actor, or costume designer being slighted is completely ridiculous. It's a goddamn dog and pony show. The bellyaching I've read across message boards on the internet (in particular, on David Poland's The Hot Blog - anyone familiar with that site will know the poster I'm talking about) about THE DARK KNIGHT being passed over for a Best Picture nod veers into psychotic, emotionally regressive behavior that makes the offending parties look like basement dwelling mental midgets.

So, what would I choose as best picture this year... Hmm, lemme see, well, I didn't see any of the nominees. For the first time in my life I didn't catch a glimpse of any of the horses at the promenade before they reached the gates. In fact, save for Gus Van Sant's MILK, and Danny Boyle channeling the Bollywood electric in SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, the rest kind of fall flat for me as far as interest. I did go to the movies this year, but the ones that stuck with me were either too low-profile, or too mindless for The Academy. I'm one of the unwashed masses that prefers IRON MAN to DARK KNIGHT, and actually liked the mercilessly beat-down HANCOCK as far as Summer fare. My favorites were smaller character pieces; in no certain order, LET THE RIGHT ON IN, THE WRESTLER (yes, Rourke got a Best Actor nom...), FROZEN RIVER (yes, it got Best Actress, and Best Original Screenplay noms...), and REDBELT. I'm not trying to be pretentious and damn gazillion-dollar budgeted movies, they obviously have their place. I like a good action movie, and it doesn't have to be very smart for me to enjoy it. However, when it comes time to pick the "best of the year", it has to be something challenging. I know we're living in a transitional period right now, where hope and uncertainty are melding in some sort of gray ether, and that gritty, challenging, modestly budgeted true-life dramas are a "hard sell", but they are necessary. People need to grow some balls and face their fears if they want to get anywhere in life...

I mean, wouldn't you rather watch a film about a character that's fallen on hard times as opposed to socially blasphemous bullshit like CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC? Sure it's escapism, but isn't that attitude what got us into this mess in the first place? Also, FUCK THAT MOVIE. I hope the prints evaporate into demonsmoke as they unspool. I've been passing a couple of bus stops adorned by that goddamn poster with Isla Fisher* holding two shopping bags and a goddamn "What..? What did I do?" expression on her face, usually juxtaposed with the reality of your average bus stop - someone either waiting to catch the bus to their shitty job that doesn't pay enough to allow them to purchase a car, or someone just sleeping off their sad life. Terrible move. Terrible marketing. Shame on everyone involved. Fuck. That. Movie. And fuck you if you see it.

I'll watch the Oscars, hell, maybe I'll make a Cinemawreck press pass and try to crash the red carpet (probably not, they tend to hire security that knows how to kill bare-handed). Regardless of whether your team is in the hunt you should just enjoy the spectacle of people who are prettier, richer, and who will die someday just like you and I, getting their moment in the spotlight. Quit elevating the event because the Oscar stamp of approval means jack shit as far as quality. Deal with it.



*Don't get me wrong, Isla Fisher is mega talented. She was the best thing about WEDDING CRASHERS, and she was great in a killer movie nobody saw, THE LOOKOUT. Plus, she's a smoking hot redhead. I don't hate the player, I just hate the game.