Burmese Tourist Bureau
Got a chance to see Rambo this weekend. I've read only a few reviews as I didn't want to spoil any of the fun I might've had. Most reviews you read online nowadays are one of 2 things: a complete synopsis of the entire film or a fanboy rant drizzled with Cheetos crumbs. So, I went into this with moderate skepticism.
The redband trailer months ago got me pumped, but I also thought there was the possibility that there would be an hour of him resisting his old ways followed by the only 15 minutes of action in the whole film. I can say with nostalgic glee that this is definitely not the case. If you can watch this:
and get a little steamy eyed, then you passed the test. You'll like Rambo. It is that simple, seriously. I remember being in Cub Scouts around the time of the first 2 Rambo films came out and how those damn survival knifes were everywhere you turned. It had a fucking compass ON THE HANDLE! You could open up the handle and get out a wire saw or fishing line. You could fish anywhere, ANY TIME. I'll leave you with that for a moment to reflect.
Back to the film. The movie starts with John Rambo in Thailand, catching snakes and hanging out in the jungle. His life is interrupted by a gang of Christian missionaries trying to hire him to take them into Burma to bring medicine/bibles to the people there. Rambo ends up doing it [cough! blonde chick! cough!] and the missionaries get kidnapped by some seriously bad Burmese guys shortly after they are dropped off. Rambo is approached by the pastor from the missionaries church who tracked him down to take some mercenaries the church hired into Burma to rescue his missionaries. Rambo manages to kind of team up with a group of mercenaries to free the missionaries and turn about 150 guys into dog food. The film moves along at a great pace and the action is excellently shot. Stallone has really proven himself as a completely capable action director. The finale' has to be seen to be believed. Complete chaos. The theater I saw it in was so loud and there were so many explosions it literally rattled my beer off the table and on to my lap. If I had to complain about one thing it would be the fact that a majority of the violence is digital. I would've preferred tradional squibs, corn syrup and latex limbs over CG blood and gore. Even so, it was immensely effective.
I completely recommend Rambo to anyone with a penis or people who like good old fashioned action flicks. Perhaps violent lesbians?
The redband trailer months ago got me pumped, but I also thought there was the possibility that there would be an hour of him resisting his old ways followed by the only 15 minutes of action in the whole film. I can say with nostalgic glee that this is definitely not the case. If you can watch this:
and get a little steamy eyed, then you passed the test. You'll like Rambo. It is that simple, seriously. I remember being in Cub Scouts around the time of the first 2 Rambo films came out and how those damn survival knifes were everywhere you turned. It had a fucking compass ON THE HANDLE! You could open up the handle and get out a wire saw or fishing line. You could fish anywhere, ANY TIME. I'll leave you with that for a moment to reflect.
Back to the film. The movie starts with John Rambo in Thailand, catching snakes and hanging out in the jungle. His life is interrupted by a gang of Christian missionaries trying to hire him to take them into Burma to bring medicine/bibles to the people there. Rambo ends up doing it [cough! blonde chick! cough!] and the missionaries get kidnapped by some seriously bad Burmese guys shortly after they are dropped off. Rambo is approached by the pastor from the missionaries church who tracked him down to take some mercenaries the church hired into Burma to rescue his missionaries. Rambo manages to kind of team up with a group of mercenaries to free the missionaries and turn about 150 guys into dog food. The film moves along at a great pace and the action is excellently shot. Stallone has really proven himself as a completely capable action director. The finale' has to be seen to be believed. Complete chaos. The theater I saw it in was so loud and there were so many explosions it literally rattled my beer off the table and on to my lap. If I had to complain about one thing it would be the fact that a majority of the violence is digital. I would've preferred tradional squibs, corn syrup and latex limbs over CG blood and gore. Even so, it was immensely effective.
I completely recommend Rambo to anyone with a penis or people who like good old fashioned action flicks. Perhaps violent lesbians?
posted by Dr Chaddius Feathermore III at
9:02 AM
2 Comments:
All I wanna know is:
Are the mercs that help him out the Forces of Freedom? Are there motorized machine-gun backpacks and whatnot?
Regardless, I'm there at some point this week. Money's tight. Might have to sell some ass.
Hahaha, yeah you'll dig it. It's exactly what it was supposed to be. Which is nice, considering everything is audience tested into oblivion nowadays.
I saw a blurb on TV this morning about it that averaged out the bodycount in the film. 1 person every 2.9 seconds.
awesome.
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