WATCHMEN - Trailer #2

Words fail me.

THE WRESTLER - Trailer

For those who've forgotten, Mickey Rourke was one of the best, most promising actors of the 80s. He was primed to follow the footsteps of DeNiro, Nicholson, and Pacino and become a legend. Then he decided he wanted to follow his first love and box again (he was a ranked amateur before he started acting). Then he hit the rocks with Carre Otis, and just scared people away with his eccentric behavior. He's always been talented, but he hasn't always made the right decisions, like most genuinely smart, talented people often do. Well, all personal problems aside, he still is one of the best in my opinion. Go back and check out POPE OF GREENWICH VILLAGE, DINER, YEAR OF THE DRAGON, ANGEL HEART, and (especially) BARFLY, and tell me he isn't.

EDIT: And JOHNNY HANDSOME!!! For the love of GOD, see JOHNNY HANDSOME! How could I leave that out...

Rourke has just recently reemerged in smaller, but effective, supporting roles in fare like ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO, MAN ON FIRE, DOMINO, and most importantly, SIN CITY, where he should have earned a best supporting nomination for his genius turn as Marv. Unfortunately, that film was a niche film at best, and the Academy probably turned off any screeners sent after the first five minutes. Now, he has teamed with Darren Aronofsky, a filmmaker who has had his share of creative ups and downs in the business as well, but like Rourke, has never compromised. If you ask me, it's a perfect pairing. Oh, and then there's the new Springsteen song written for the movie. Tell me this isn't going to be good and I'll drop an elbow on your face.

I can't wait for this movie. Seriously.

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN - Review

NOTE: I've been two weeks late in delivering this. I doubt it matters anymore, but here goes...

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN follows the tradition of revisionist takes on the vampire mythology, earning a place right next to films like Abel Ferrara's THE ADDICTION, Guillermo Del Toro's brilliant CRONOS, Kathyrn Bigelow's masterpiece NEAR DARK, and Tarantinrodriguez's FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (it's good, haters have just forgotten). My personal favorite, NEAR DARK, had a compelling subplot where Homer, the (physically) youngest member of Severen's clan desperately wanted to find a companion (while wearing a badass William S. Burroughs T-shirt). The concept of being made immortal while a child is one of the most tragic imaginable. Being physically incomplete while your soul has aged for centuries is a perfect curse. I'm sure if you get bitten during your heyday, like the crow-looking douchebag from Twilight, then it's great, but seriously, fuck the romantic notion of that. I can think of nothing worse than being made immortal in my acne-pocked pre-teen years. Go see TWILIGHT and swoon, then go see this if you want some perspective. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN drives a Mack truck through the bullshit vampire romance.

LTROI is about a pre-teen on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Oskar is 12, pale, skinny, passive, and mercilessly bullied. He comes from a broken home, spending the majority of his time living with his mother, and visiting his alcoholic father from time to to time. Oskar is a sweet, bright kid who, because of the cruelty of other children, is about to be pushed over the edge and embark on his "own personal Columbine" (Alex Rivello, CHUD.com). At night he sits in his room and cuts out clippings of police reports detailing gruesome homicides, as well as practicing his showdown fantasies where he finally stands up to his tormentors - going over the requisite comeuppance one-liners in his cold bedroom, and simulating burying a shiv in them while hanging out in the playground at night.

Enter Eli ("ell-ee"), a cute, doe-eyed, grubby little thing that moves in next door and strikes up a friendship one dark, snowy night on the playground. Eli is blunt, fierce, and with the byproduct of many, if not all first loves, she enables Oskar with a newly discovered strength and self-confidence. The only problem is that Eli is a much older woman trapped in a child's body - she's a vampire. Bodies start to add up, adults begin to wonder, and Oskar is slowly pulled into Eli's world.

Director Tomas Alfredson has gone on record as not being a rabid horror fan, and perhaps that benefits the film's heart. I don't mean to take anything away from it, because it is extremely suspenseful, and has one of the most disturbingly satisfying endings I've ever seen. There is plenty of gore, and the requisite number of jolts to go around, but the emotional core of LTROI is what pushes it past the herd of current horror films. The entire movie is a metaphor for the Hell of that transitional period that we all went through, and most of us wouldn't go back to for a million dollars.

Go see this movie. Stat. Easily one of the best of the year. And JJ Abrams can take his remake and shove it up his ass sideways. There is absolutely no need for this to be remade, and there is no way it will resonate like the original.

Bitch Slap!

This was just brought to my attention [Streubinator 20XX] and I feel as though I have failed in life somehow for not knowing of it sooner. I haven't picked up a "Femme Fatales" in some time, which could explain this gross failure on my part. Please, accept my apologies.

Bitch Slap The Movie! I know, I know...the obvious Sin City rip-off aesthetic, the "Grindhouse" font. Everything about it screams "rip-off". But, all great exploitation has always been a rip-off of something else in attempt to cash in while shoveling as much sex and violence as they could afford onto the screen in the process.

T&A? Check.
Big guns? Check.
Zoe Bell? SERIOUSLY?! Check.
Is that Kevin FUCKING Sorbo?! Check.
Xena!!?? Check.

This takes me back to when you could walk into a movie store and rent some awful flick with Shannon Tweed in tight clothes shooting up guys who take a bunch of models hostage. I will be watching this as soon as humanly possible. I can't wait to slam this cheap whiskey of a flick and savor the warmth/burning sensation I feel afterward. This looks too big budget to be straight to DVD, I expect we'll see a small arthouse run of this one.

Holy shit! Let The Right One In!

Jeff will be posting his full review any day now. I finally got to see it last night. Wow! Such a badass film. Run and see this as soon as you possibly can. Or, I will kill you.

Trailer:

Oh God, you Devil!

Variety is reporting that Spielgerg is attempting to do a remake of Oldboy, which would star Will Smith. Just in case you needed some more bad news in your day.

Trailer for the original: